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Thanks Macalope. It's always a Saturday morning treat to read your articles.

I finally gave up and unsubscribed from eWeek this morning. All noise, no information.

<i>And if you think the Macalope’s mixing metaphors by calling eWeek’s output both rodent poop and fast-food hamburgers, well, then you haven’t worked in the fast-food industry, brother.</i>

While rodent feces and fast food hamburgers do in fact go together like Big and Mac, rabbits are not rodents. You're not mixing metaphors so much as species, and I for one do not want a rat/bunny mix. Monkeys and ponies, sure, but a BunRat is not really necessary.

Thanks for bringing Goofus and Gallant back into the front of my brain. I suddenly remembered all the time spent reading
Highlights magazine in doctors offices. Did I really go to the dentist so often?

DrPaisley, on 05 November 2011 - 07:37 AM, said:

Not only do I consider rabbits rodents, but most small dogs too.

Maybe he is left handed, left handed compliments usually are worst than praise.

Caution, the last time someone said a certain fast food had something in it, it cost them big time in court.

This caught my eye when reading the eWeek top 10:
"Speaking of Windows 8, that operating system could very well become a major issue for Apple. The OS, which is expected to launch last year, can be used by any vendor to bundle with their products."

Specifically, the "...expected to launch last year..." What does that even mean?

The top ten ways to do a top ten list:

• *Eliminate any product that easily wins, because that's just not fair
  
• *Make sure that you have ten things in your list, it gets really embarrassing if you don't count right
  
• *If you don't really have ten things in your list, you can just cleverly restate the same thing, just make sure it isn't right next to the other one
  
• *Don't forget to include products that no one has heard of, it's even better if some aren't actually for sale yet, that makes you look cooler than everyone else
  
• *Always, always, always make sure that you take a cheap shot at a very popular product, it will dramatically increase your page views [editors like that]
  
• *Never let the obvious winner skate by, especially when the company is paying you big bucks to make sure it wins, rough it up a little bit so it will look like you are playing fair
  
• *Any company that doesn't pay, doesn't get good reviews--no exceptions. Why buy the cow if the milk is for free?
  
• *If Apple makes it, it loses. Period.
  
• *If you know any really cool insider acronyms, or other techie gobbledegook, liberally sprinkle them throughout your list to boost your crediblilty
  
• *Yeah, ten is a lot of things, and it starts getting old, but keep trying, surely there's at least one more thing you can make-up
  
• *Make sure you have ten things in your list, no really, make sure…one little piggy went to market….

This post has been edited by donebylee: 05 November 2011 - 09:11 AM

"...sweet alfalfa, at least make it have a point and make sense."

I about bust my side when I read that!

Bravo!

There used to be a time when I didn't read your column. I look back at that time and shudder. Thanks for a great start to Saturday, Macalope.

"The Macalope’s not sure what Don Reisinger and eWeek’s problem is: Why do they keep churning out these bland top ten lists, devoid of any value? The horny one’s coming around to the idea that they look at writing the same way your average bored teenager looks at assembling burgers at a fast-food joint: Slap ‘em together and throw ‘em under the light."

It doesn't have to be good, just good enough. Just get it up there and we can fix it up later if we have to.

At least that is what they tell me.

MrPhotoEd

DrPaisley, on 05 November 2011 - 07:37 AM, said:

You may not find the BunRat appealing, but look at it the other way around. McDonalds is test-marketing fried RatBits as an economical replacement for Chicken Nuggets.

DrPaisley, on 05 November 2011 - 07:37 AM, said:

They are in Australia.