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The Macalope Weekly: Off with his head!

#1 User is offline   Macworld 

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Posted 27 April 2013 - 06:00 AM

Post your comments for The Macalope Weekly: Off with his head! here
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#2 User is offline   leicaman 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 06:19 AM

Accent, AND location. He's in Northern California, as any loyal Southern Californian will point out. Believe me. I'm surrounded by 'em!
Eric

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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#3 User is offline   JustAdComics 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 06:42 AM

Maybe the poor sap was thinking about how both Nokia & Apple are tech companies. Then his article makes so much more sense! ... No, wait.
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#4 User is offline   JustAdComics 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 07:02 AM

Wait! Wait! I got it - both Nokia and Apple have five letters in their names! Totally the same.
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#5 User is offline   StefN 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 07:45 AM

"...Wall Street sources..." Exactly. Apple knows; Wall Street blows.
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#6 User is offline   Tiby 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 07:54 AM

Quote

Wait! Wait! I got it - both Nokia and Apple have five letters in their names! Totally the same.


But there's more! Nokia started out as a wood pulp mill company and apples grow on trees made out of wood! I think we may be unravelling this!
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#7 User is offline   Kennethfcooper 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 08:37 AM

"Who should he pass the baton to?"
Exactly! These pundits are looking for a mythical CEO.
Hey, Macalope, have you considered a career change?
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#8 User is offline   TeaEarleGreyHot 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 08:51 AM

Quote

Let us assume, just for minute, that Cook should go. It’s ridiculous, of course, but let’s just assume that.

Who should he pass the baton to?

“Oh! Well, there’s … uh … Or, uh … no. Batman is not real. Phew. Hmm. Hey! You know what’s really great? Pie!”


Forgive me if I'm misinterpreting the sarcasm, but is Macalope saying that Apple -- once again -- has no clear line of succession? Is there a leadership crisis in the company? Is there really no one qualified to step in should Mr. Cook suddenly decide to accept employment by... um... JC Penny, maybe? Because if he truly is irreplaceable, and truly is unfit to continue to serve as CEO, then Apple really is on the verge of being frittered.

Mmmm... apple fritters...
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#9 User is offline   lwdesign 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 09:14 AM

Here's the basic problem with pundits: They think the stock market means something about the company. They think in terms of investor profits not the actual production and health of the company itself. Pundits see the stock dropping from $700 to $400 and without any other factor taken into account, they believe the sky is falling and the company is on their way out. They seem purposely obtuse to the fact that their own rumors and negative comments are causing investor panic, which is what causes the stock prices to fall. However, the Macalope is correct: Apple isn't losing any money at all. Even though profits were down, they had the 4th highest quarter EVER! They're amazingly profitable. The only people losing money are the investors who are being shafted by the very pundits who are making it appear that Apple is somehow in bad shape. It's a total disconnect from reality.
Ideally, Apple should get out of the travesty that is the stock market by buying back all the shares and going private. They'd be out of the insanity of "investor confidence" and stock price manipulation by bad press.
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#11 User is offline   Dennistrator 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 09:41 AM

These pundits, analysts, et al, seem to have a rich mutually agreed-upon fantasy life. In it, Apple and all it has produced have been nothing but failure, and we Apple users are mindless sheep. It's like Steampunk, where there is an alternate view of reality, with this distinction: Steampunkers know that it's make believe.
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#12 User is offline   Azazello 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 10:23 AM

Stop Donington this, oh dear Macalope!
At the fish-lichen bit the vodka came through my nose... VERY embarrassing.
Drinking a shot at 2:23 EST.
Azazello
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#13 User is offline   Azazello 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 10:24 AM

Wow! I meant stop ding this (what language was my autocorrect set to? Korean?
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#14 User is offline   Azazello 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 10:25 AM

All right: this is the vodka.
Stop doing this!
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#15 User is offline   ssugiyama 

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  Posted 27 April 2013 - 10:56 AM

How about this as the reason for an "orchestrated campaign": Even though the fundamentals show Apple as a solidly grounded company with a an optimistic future, in order to get in on the future at a better price, slam the company with as many nominally reasonable 'sound-bites' as possible to drive the price down. Then, when the price reaches a 'good enough' lower level, BUY!

However, Apple is taking advantage of this with stock buy-backs.
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